2nd grade

Me: What's going on here?
Boy who hardly knows any English: TURKEY! EAT! MAN!

...

Me: N., I really like your drawing. That's a cute face!
N: This is a...cook.
Me: Like a chef.
N: A cook. He is...a cook. This is his...knife. A banana. A pickle. He has oven for cakes with them!

...

V: What's your name again?
Me: You don't remember my name? I thought we were getting married!
Other kids: MISS LEIGH! MISS LEIGH!
(V puts his arm through mine.)
V: Okay, let's go.

I can haz friends

Thanks to everyone who came to my reading at the circus last night. Sommer Browning is my new favorite person. The end.

Greg Lawless interviewed me. Pat pointed out I gave him my Match.com profile pic to use, which is a truth I won't deny, so please line up to date me, and I can promise it won't go well and then I'll put you in a poem.

The fruits of my new gym membership

Let it be known that I was picked FIRST for the 5th grade basketball team this afternoon. Sure, I have a considerable height advantage, but I proceeded to score two points for our team.

Quotables:

Crying boy to cool boy: YOU SMELL LIKE COCK!

Girl to me as I was guarding her: MOTHERFUCKER! FUCKER! FUCKER!

Cool boy: Miss Leigh, you're all sweaty.

Multifarious Array/Reading at Pete's

I'm reading at Pete's Candy Store, Friday @ 7, avec Nate Pritts, Karin Randolph, and Matthew Rohrer.

Dangerous Minds

- Okay, so let's pretend you guys are neighbors and you're going over to J.'s house to borrow a cup of sugar.
- Borrow a cup of what?
- A cup of sugar.
- Like at 7-11.
- No...from your neighbor.
- From 7-11.
- Do you live next door to a 7-11? Is that why you keep saying that?
- No.
- Pretend J. lives in the house next door, in the apartment next to your apartment. You're making a cake, you're in the middle of it, and then you realize you're out of sugar, so you go to borrow some.
- What kind of cake?

Every move you make

There are two videos of me you may be interested in watching if you have absolutely nothing else to do.

One is me reading at the New York Public Library. Fast forward to minute 19 and watch Jason Koo's intro.

And the second is of me training children to be pigeons:

TOON Books presents "Luke on the Loose" from TOON Books on Vimeo.

Mambo! Mambo! Go!

Watching the dance at the gym from West Side Story with my musical theater students (ages 7 - 11) yesterday:

- Why are the girls wearing dresses?
- Because they're at a dance! What should they be wearing?
- I dunno, leggings?
- What?

- That's Maria. Why do you think she's wearing a white dress?
- Because she's the main character.
- That's true. Why else? What does the color white mean?
(No response.)
- It's her first dance in America. It means innocence. She's innocent.

- See that girl who just got kicked in the pants? That's the character I played in high school.
- You weren't Maria?
- No...I wish.
- Did you ever get a big part?

- Which team do we want to win?
- I don't know, which team do you like better?
- The Sharks are better dancers, I want the Sharks to win.
(Riff does a flip.)
- The Jets are good, too. I want them both to win. Who wins in the end?
- No one. That's the lesson.

(lights change when Maria sees Tony)
- IS SHE FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM?
- SHHH I CAN'T HEAR WHAT THEY'RE SAYING
- ARE THEY GONNA KISS
- Do you guys want to watch this scene or I can stop it now?
- NO DON'T STOP IT I WANT TO SEE THEM KISS
- He's too tall for her.
- She has to look up into his face like this. (imitates Natalie Wood)