Summary of "Stay single!" article ("Need a reason to fly solo in NYC? We've got ten.") by Tory Hoen, February 4-10 issue:
1. Eating alone is easy because there are less people to occupy table space.
2. Going to plays by yourself is easy because of all those leftover onesies.
3. Eating alone is sexy.
4. You can always buy yourself jewelry?
5. Eating alone is unsexy but at least you can eat garlic because who's going to kiss you? No one.
6. Stay up late and eat sweets, you fat lonely person. No one's going to kiss you.
7. Maybe if you meditated you wouldn't be so fat and alone.
8. Being single is great because when you're single you can look at stuff outside. (???)
9. Maybe perhaps you like to shoot guns?
10. Dance lessons are better when you're single because your partner won't get jealous if you dance with other people. (???)