Thursday, March 3, 2011

Modern Discourse Part II

(kindergarten)
Me: And now you're in...Mystery Land.
(A little girl immediately makes one hand into a monocle for her eye.)
Me: I see E. is a detective...and K. is a...K., are you a dead bug?
(no response)
Me: Maybe we should solve the mystery of why K. is a dead bug.
E: AHA! SOMEONE MUST HAVE STEPPED ON HIM!

(4th grade)
M: President Obama is mean.
Me: Why do you think so?
M: Sometimes he is nice, but he is mean to people without papers. They have guns.
Me: Oh, do you mean people who want to move here from another country? That's called border control.
M: I hear my mom on the phone with my sister in Mexico because she doesn't have papers and my mom is trying to get her some but she was having a baby and my mom told her not to. And then she lost the baby.
M's cousin: She lost the baby?
M: Yeah. Now she is having another baby and my mom is telling her not to.
Me: How old is your sister?
M: 17.
M's cousin: Russian people have it more easy than us.

(teenagers overheard on the street in Sheepshead Bay)
Girl: Nyet.
Boy: Da.
Girl: NO!
Boy: DA!
Girl: You wish.
Boy: I don't wish.

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